Killing the feminist

she-All boys want one thing at this age.

me-Oh so you mean they get better once they are older? Do they get wiser and want other things?

she-Don't be cheeky, yes THEN they are mature. At this age they are all out to have fun.

me-I don't believe you.

she-You think they aren't jerks?

me-Uh not that, I don't believe you when you say they'll get better, wiser, mature-er whatever.

she-We are just trying to protect you.

me-I know.

But....how much longer???!

she- Till you're mature enough to handle them yourself.(sub-textually- Till you get married, sub-sub-textually-till you get arrange married)

me-How does it make a difference, when it all boils down to the one thing, which they'll obviously want even when I'm mature enough to know that that's all that they want.

she-But you'll be older then.

me-Wait...so do you want me to be older and more mature, so I can try and find someone who wants the one thing, but is from an Ivy league college, good looking and has a great sports car? I already know what they want. Geez, frankly this is not even the kind discussion I want to be having with you right now. It's awkward and inappropriate.

she-But we are the only people who really care about you. Plus there is the whole deal about the hormones at this age. You know boys and their wild, raging hormones.

me-Ugh! No. Please not the hormones. I refuse to talk about the hormones with you, esp ones that are wild and raging!

she-Why? You know you can talk to me about ANYTHING.

me-Uh..no. Not boys.

she-okay. alcohol? There was alcohol too at the party right?

me-oh ya, vanilla vodka..awesome!

she-WHAT?

me-kidding. I hate alcohol.

she-yes, please hate alcohol and cigarettes.

me-and boys.

she-yes boys. Specially boys with alcohol and cigarettes.

me-oh cmon, you're freaking me out. Are they that bad.

she-yes, at this age, the hor-

me-don't say it!

she-they get better, but not right now, right now they think with their DI-

me-aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!! i'm blocking you out now!!!!!!!!( sing latest hindi movie song at the top of my voice)

she-you get the message.

me-no alcohol. no cigarettes. no boys.