Moon-faced Crab/ Crab-faced Moon

Sometimes it seems so much more easier to crawl back in my shell or hide behind the clouds. Its funny how I have spent most of my life building up on where the lives of most characters from T.V. shows/Movies/Books end. Searching for perfection. I like to go to college with Ally McBeal-esque music playing in my head and a Styrofoam cup of tea in my hand. I like to imagine love like what it was the first time I knew it via "Sound of Music" -the dance sequence in the rain that I just can't get out of my head. And I like to believe that when the day comes- I will perfect the art of walking away and do it just like Meredith Grey with tears that never spill, hair that's never out of place and looking back never being an option.
But then when I look back, I realize that maybe some things can never be perfect- whether its your first boyfriend that was a Nazi, your ability to be taken seriously or the fact that you can never let go of McDreamy. Love does let you down. So does success. And tears do spill out.

The Inexplainable

I'm a stereotype. In fact I am the character most books revolve around-the ugly duckling straining to become a swan, the dreamer on a quest to find herself, the princess with a lost shoe... Its quite unromantic really. As much as i convince myself that I'm quite the moon maiden Linda Goodman insists I am, the only thing i seem sure of is the wild loony bird lurking behind the otherwise sane exterior.
I see my life as a huge glossy colourful photograph that everybody I know seems to be a part of. And then there is me- blurred- smiling uncertainly, her toe dragging circles into the sand. Almost like I was pushed into the frame at the last moment and I hadn't quite registered the photographer's request to say "cheese" or maybe I had but i refused to comply because Ifelt like I didn't belong.
Except that its my life.
Sigh. But the picture is beautiful, just like the beach in the background, the skies are sunny while the waves are blue and restless and alive (In a creepy, Harry Potter-istic way) and it makes want to break out of my cocoon, and kiss frogs and look for a shoe that fits just right.