I would like to wallow in self pity. With ice-cream. And the last few Grey's Anatomy episodes. Alone. I don't want to be near the phone, because the last time I was, I did not have anyone to call. That's when I realized I needed to do this- wallow in self pity. With ice-cream. It's not enough, it never is, to be who you are. You have to improvise on yourself, have something up your sleeve constantly- pull out endless colorful handkerchiefs or better still, rabbits from a hat- to keep them coming back for more.

I want to sit here and listen to Tim McGraw till I die and pretend that reading Harry Potter is life. I don't want them coming back, I wish they'd all go away and leave me alone. My knees are chipped you see from the kneeling and I can't do that anymore. I can't conjure up the ace of spades from that sleeve, neither can I pretend to vanish coins while sneaking them beneath it. I would cut myself in half and join myself back together, but whats the point? What's the bloody point?

So I am going to sit here and wallow in self pity. With ice-cream.